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Vulnerability

by Caleb Hester

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1.
Haven't Lost My Grip 02:35
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I don't want to let you down So I'll try and come around To my senses I've been hanging upside down Feeling blood rush to my frown I've lost my defenses You were my best friend Before I knew myself And I would get by Living for someone else But now that I live for me Are you still my best friend? This was never about you We just have some different views About my wellness But the words you speak are true And because they come from you I feel so helpless And I invent new ways to hurt myself Every day it's cyclical and sick And it may seem to you that my mind is on the shelf But in the end I haven't lost my grip And I invent new ways to hurt myself Every day it's cyclical and sick And it may seem to you that my mind is on the shelf But in the end I haven't lost my grip
2.
Let's Talk 03:19
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Let's talk about nothing at all Let's talk ourselves up the wall When we talk I feel so small Because when you talk you say nothing at all Let's talk, you and I Walking down the block where you used to hide But let's not talk about the times that we lied We didn't talk, we never tried
3.
Autumn Breeze 05:18
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Do you see the trees Floating in the breeze Losing all their leaves Swaying as they please Oh Autumn breeze Sweep me towards the seas I don't know if I believe Anything that I see Oh I wish that you and I Could throw this weight off and fly Through wispy clouds in the summer sky And know that love will never die I don't know if I believe Anything that I see
4.
Green Leaves 01:54
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Noisy streets, polluted air Sticky pollen in your hair Bumblebees on green spring leaves Brought back to life on sunlit trees Summer dreams and icy screams Always conflated in my dreams I'm longing for another time As if that would ease my mind Do not regret what you forget About the days that came and went Your life is now, your life is now Even though you don't know how You did become somebody's son After you thought your life was done Polluted air and noisy streets Blue flowers grow below your feet Buzzing bees in sunlit trees That brought to life those green spring leaves Now I don't know if I believe Anything that I see Release the pain from down below When seasons change we let things go
5.
Through Your Eyes 03:22
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I’m seeing through your eyes You’re not seeing me I don’t recognize My own two feet It’s no surprise You’re telling lies I’m seeing through your eyes You’re not seeing me You’re seeing through my eyes How can it be You can not find Any sympathy Maybe you’ve gone too far this time This is the end of the line You’re seeing through my eyes How can it be Please just wipe your mind clean Let me stand up tall These different perspectives Will vilify us all We don’t need to argue And we don’t need to recall If we let some time pass Out of love we’ll fall I’m seeing through your eyes For one more day Because you’re still Standing in my way And I once had a lot to say But then I let it all fade away I’m seeing through your eyes For one more day Please just wipe your mind clean Let me stand up tall These different perspectives Will vilify us all We don’t need to argue And we don’t need to recall If we let some time pass Out of love we’ll fall
6.
Say A Little More 02:16
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Say a little more to me I'm trying to let you be I've forgotten how to sleep I'm running from my dreams Do you know what you need? What can you give to me Are you dying to be free? Do you even think of me? Won't you say a little more to me I held you in my arms I swear I heard your heart I thought I could belong And then you were gone Come back to me I've grown up you will see I never knew you well Time won't dare to tell If you're coming back to me Say a little more to me I'm trying to let you be I've forgotten how to sleep I'm running from my dreams Do you know what you need? What can you give to me Are you dying to be free? Do you even think of me? Won't you say a little more to me
7.
Thunderstorm 02:22
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8.
Vulnerability 04:05
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If I'm angry I can't see I get too happy I can't breathe It's not about the good or bad There's no feelings I can have Without the fear of piercing stares It's shame I can't bear I am hurting and it's not fair Vulnerability Stay away from me Let me be numb Let me succumb To this blindness I don't want to feel Don't let it be real Who is behind this I automatically hide Everything I feel inside Time and time again I try to break This habit that has sealed my fate But then I make a mistake Suddenly I'm filled with hate These emotions take their toll As I'm fighting for control Sometimes the truth is hard to tell Especially when you mean well But you're comfortable in hell Vulnerability Stay away from me Let me be numb Let me succumb To this blindness I don't want to feel Don't let it be real Who is behind this
9.
Open Door 03:47
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My door is open To you forever If you're barely coping With stormy weather Or if you're happier Than you've ever ever been My door is open Let yourself in Get out of your own way My lovely friend I'll be the first to say You haven't seen the end Because I've been down A ghastly trench I did my time I saw the light again Get out of your own way Every now and then I'll be the last to stay You'll always be my friend And when you get down It feels like the end You'll be just fine You'll see the light again My door is open To you forever If you're barely coping With stormy weather Or if you're happier Than you've ever ever been My door is open Let yourself in Get out of your own way Get out of your own way Get out of your own way Get out of your own way Get out of your own way Get out of your own way Leave your door open For your friends forever And here's to hoping For better weather And when you're happier Than you've ever ever been My door is open Let yourself in

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released January 4, 2019

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Caleb Hester Chicago, Illinois

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